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Does a brother or sister living abroad help parents?

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Section updated: 12/28/2017

Question 1.
Theme: To live and study in another city

Hello, I graduated from grade 11 and plan to enter a university in another city. Can I, a minor, enter a university without a legal representative (that is, come alone and submit documents), or do I need to go to another city to do with one of my parents? Could there be any written consent?

The consent and presence of parents is not required.

Me and my boyfriend 17, we want to go to St. Petersburg from the agency, with a guide and a group of other tourists, my parents do not mind. What documents are needed so that we can go without adults and will accept us at the agency in general?

If the agency agrees, then you will go, but you will stay in a hotel in different rooms. The agency has the right to refuse responsibility for you.

Question 3.
Theme: To live and study in another city

Good day. I’m 15, I finished 9 classes, drummer, activist. I want to go live and study in the suburbs with my boyfriend (16 years old), where his father lives with him, he will help us. Now I live with my mother, stepfather and two younger brothers, my mother does not let me go. There is a dad, he owed child support, my mother refused them in the end, she wants to deprive her of parental rights, but she has not yet deprived. Also, she forbids me to communicate with him, I communicate secretly from her.
1. Can I, with the permission of my father, go to the Moscow Region (now he lives abroad)?
2. How can you convince mom so that everything is agreed? I'm not going to stay here. The city is small, I don’t go 100% to the 10th grade profession: I’m incredibly afraid to pass the exam. I don’t understand why my mother doesn’t let me go, I study well and there is no future for me.

It’s impossible to leave without mom’s consent. she is your only legal representative until you reach the age of 18 in your country of residence. To solve the problem, it is worth contacting the commission for minors and protecting their rights or the guardianship authority (at the place of residence), because the profession should not be chosen by the parents, but by the child himself. Specialists of these bodies will try to convince your mother. At the same time, it is necessary to submit documents to the educational organization of secondary vocational education together with parents.

Question 4.
Theme: Conflicts with classmates

Hello, my girlfriend asks a question, can we live together if I’m 19 and she is 16 + she is an orphan, she only has a guardian grandmother? And does she also have the right to use a card for which the state pays for it?

Until the age of 18, your girlfriend is a ward, i.e. She has a legal representative, therefore, only with the consent of her grandmother - legal representative, she can live with her boyfriend and use a bank card to which funds for guardianship are transferred.

Hello, I’m 16 years old, my parents have been deprived of parental rights, they want to send me to an orphanage, but I don’t want to go to this orphanage, this one, do I have the right to choose an orphanage?

The orphanage chooses an education authority. At the same time, no one took away the right to apply to the Department of Education with a request for placement in another orphanage.

Question 6.
Theme: Relationship with parents

Hello, can a mother pick up documents from the institution where her child is studying, without his consent, if he already has 18?

They simply won’t give out documents to the mother, because an eighteen-year-old citizen is a child for the mother, but de jure - he is an independent (competent) person. Thus, only you can pick up documents from an educational organization.

Question 7.
Theme: Conflicts with classmates

I’m 15 years old, I want to go live with my boyfriend, my parents don’t mind but they have criminal responsibility and they just don’t want to let them go. But I don’t want to wait until 16 years.

Parents do not bear criminal responsibility for your intimate relationship with a guy, a young person who has reached the age of 18 years, has entered into a relationship with a special person who has not reached the age of 16 years in accordance with Art. 134 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Until you are 18 years old, without the consent of your parents, you cannot make decisions about your place of residence.

Question 8.
Theme: To live and study in another city

Hello! My husband has a sister, she is 16 years old. This year she graduated from 9th grade. We want to take her to ourselves for training in a technical school in another area (wants to become a veterinarian). They live in a village for 3 thousand km from us. Mother will not be able to accompany her on the trip, because she has another dependent small child. They have very big financial difficulties, in total there are 7 children in the family. The husband is 30 years old, with his sister he has one biological mother, but different fathers, i.e. and their surnames are different. If the girl does not come to us this year, she will not be able to continue her studies at school or at a technical school, all because of money problems. After the 9th grade, no one studied in their family except their husband, his grandmother raised him. We work, we have our own apartment, we do not experience critical financial problems. We can offer her food, accommodation, clothes, and inexpensive holidays somewhere in Anapa (now they have problems even with the first item). Please answer, can we pick her up for training in another area? How to document it? Should I accompany her on a trip? Should a parent be present at admission?

If the girl is going to college, then she can live in another city without parents. At the notary's place of residence, her legal representatives must issue written consent to study at a college and stay in another city with her brother. It is advisable that your husband send them a copy of his birth certificate, which confirms the relationship with the principal (mother) and his daughter (sister). You can have a scanned copy.

Question 9.
Theme: Conflicts with classmates

Hello, you may ask, I'm 17 years old and I'm tired of living with a guardian already, she doesn’t allow me to walk on the street until 10 and even stand near the house. I want to live with a guy and in 2 months I will be 18 years old, I do not want to live with a guardian, I tell her that I will leave her and she says go to live with him but I will go and write a statement, I ask what he will write and what , she says you’ll see, damn it, it’s really unbearable for me to live with her, you can write in custody so that they would take me away from her and the guy would take me to me in 2 months 18 it will be possible to write something. And how many times I have the right to walk and even sit near the house.

Once you turn 18, you will not have a guardian: custody will be automatically canceled the day after your birthday. From now on you can live with a guy.

Question 10.
Theme: Relationship with parents

Hello. This year I finished 11th grade and we are going to rent a house without parents (most already have 18). I am currently 17 years old. Is it possible for me to stay in this house without my parents or guardian throughout the night?

Once you are 18 years old, you can live separately from your parents. Until this age, you are considered a child, your parents are your legal representatives, i.e. protect your rights and legitimate interests, bear responsibility for you.

Related topics

a guest
Name the topic Why not living well do not help elderly parents.
This is a different topic. [/ Quote
Why is there another topic. You have already been explained that not everyone who has left has the opportunity to help. What does it mean for you to “get well settled?” Have you ever lived in exile yourself7Do you know the whole process?
And if you get settled over time because Dior, for example, can allocate a significant amount to animals every month, but they don’t help parents, then other personal reasons may be there, it's about family relationships.
Foreign countries have nothing to do with it. But your emphasis is precisely on this. And who in Russia, who stays and lives well by default helps parents, right?

[Abroad has nothing to do with it. But your emphasis is precisely on this. And who in Russia, who stays and lives well by default helps parents, right?

Olgitta
But I’m worried not about financial assistance, but just basic help at home, and in general, when my parents are very old. it turns out I threw them at my brother. conscience really torments me, so I'm going to transport them to myself.
You correctly decided to transport your parents to yourself. The main thing is that they agree, or sometimes they flatly refuse, I know such cases. I also didn’t write about money in the topic, namely about the help and care that can be provided when you are around. But if you are far away, then at least financially. And more about the fact that it is much easier to send money to a sick grandfather than fifteen years to live with him and look after him. And I hope everything is fine with my brother’s parents. Good luck to you.

Author
Olgitta But I’m worried not about financial help, but just basic help at home, and in general, when my parents are very old. it turns out I threw them at my brother. conscience really torments me, so I'm going to transport them to myself. You correctly decided to transport your parents to yourself. The main thing is that they agree, or sometimes they flatly refuse, I know such cases. I also didn’t write about money in the topic, namely about the help and care that can be provided when you are around. But if you are far away, then at least financially. And more about the fact that it is much easier to send money to a sick grandfather than fifteen years to live with him and look after him. And I hope everything is fine with my brother’s parents. Good luck to you.
Your text I know that it is difficult to decide to leave, even it is still difficult for me, so homesick, and it will be even more difficult for them. But they are still young with me, mom 50, father 53, they will work until retirement anyway, for now we will do an immigrant visa, all things. I just want them to be able to at least not permanently relocate, but let's live for six months with me, for 4 months. Well, I also want to transport my brother, but he still studies at the university. It’s really really bad without a family, I never thought that I would be so homesick, I speak with them on Skype every day.

I understand you well. Good luck

The author, I realized that you are dreaming of calling your brother or sister to court, you sleep and see. So do you know how he (she) really lives? What is good to settle by your standards?
My mother here does not know all my problems, and if something happens I won’t refuse the inheritance in favor of my sister either. Here I am ***. But you don’t know all the nuances, and we don’t know yours.
And my sister also pours into everyone’s ears what kind of pig I am, but from my point of view the situation looks completely different and it’s useless to explain anything to her.

Your text
Like me? And who am I ?
I have my own house (380 sq.m) for which you do not need to pay a loan, an apartment of 200 sq.m in a good area, which I bought for my child, for the future
The staff that works for me
Well, who am I?

The author, I realized that you are dreaming of calling your brother or sister to court, you sleep and see. So do you know how he (she) really lives? What is good to settle by your standards? My mother here does not know all my problems, and if something happens I won’t refuse the inheritance in favor of my sister either. Here I am ***. But you don’t know all the nuances, and we don’t know yours. And my sister also pours into everyone’s ears what kind of pig I am, but from my point of view the situation looks completely different and it’s useless to explain anything to her.

The author, I realized that you are dreaming of calling your brother or sister to court, you sleep and see. So do you know how he (she) really lives? What is good to settle by your standards? My mother here does not know all my problems, and if something happens I won’t refuse the inheritance in favor of my sister either. Here I am ***. But you don’t know all the nuances, and we don’t know yours. And my sister also pours into everyone’s ears what kind of pig I am, but from my point of view the situation looks completely different and it’s useless to explain anything to her.

My parents live in Russia a hundred times better and richer than my sister who lives in the states. AND THEY HELP HER :-))))

Please note that no one wrote that what a terrible sister I have, she left and does not help my parents. And the main ones who left were unsubscribed, that they had some ugly sisters in Russia. Does that mean anything!

Your text
And the fact that many brothers or sister live there in many rented apartments, but are you normal in yours too?
You will live there a year to begin with, and then sing songs about the golden trash

Who has a brother or sister left for permanent residence abroad and left you with elderly parents and old grandparents? Do they help parents with something, or did they receive a note from them upon departure that “the parents have no complaints against them” and that’s all? (claims, respectively, now everything is to you). Very often this happens, while the foreign brothers and sisters do not refuse the inheritance.

I married a foreigner for love .. When we lived in Moscow with my future husband, we often helped .. And now I only want to attach my little sister here. They are very handsome, handsome men in Sweden ... so that she doesn’t suffer so much how I was tormented ... And she still has a little daughter. Which today even higher education does not shine, and here it is free .. Yes, and around it some unworthy ones revolve with which the future, alas. she has none.

I have been caring for my elderly cousin Alzheimer's disease for 8 years, and the last couple of years I had to move to her, as she can barely move around the apartment and walks by herself ........
Her son lives on permanent residence in Germany, has been around for 20 years and hasn’t done anything to somehow help, at least financially .. or take her to her. Not going to come back either. For many years he has not come, and even now he does not call.
All relatives and acquaintances are terrified of how to deal with their own mother .. who raised, gave an excellent education and always helped financially ..
Pensions for maintenance, pills and payment of bills in her apartment are not enough.
He does not even stutter about, for example, selling the apartment in which his grandmother lives and spending this money on her upkeep, he says that he will not do this. He is completely satisfied that I am engaged in ALL care, moreover, completely free of charge.

I married a foreigner for love .. When we lived in Moscow with my future husband, we often helped .. And now I only want to attach my little sister here. They are very handsome, handsome men in Sweden ... so that she doesn’t suffer so much how I was tormented ... And she still has a little daughter. Which today even higher education does not shine, and here it is free .. Yes, and around it some unworthy ones revolve with which the future, alas. she has none.

My sister (I don’t have a brother) lives where I am. And both of us live near our parents, and we all help each other. Well, where did you get the idea of ​​talking about me? Briefly tell you what I mean. When the brother of my colleague got married, he got an apartment for his grandmother and grandfather, and the old people moved into the apartment with their daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter. Then he left with his wife for her historic homeland, and sold the apartment. Now that his father has died (he did not leave a will), he wants to have a share in the parental apartment. Is that fair?

Here this laf with education can also be covered. Yes, and men are spoiled, although better than Russian. But women from all over the world dream about them, so I’m afraid this lafa is already ending, if it was at all. This, as I understood it, was lucky with your husband, not everyone is lucky, and they also don’t want to get married.

1. You are not required to call or write messages every day, but keep your parents informed about the events of your life.

Talk about everything you think is acceptable. You are building a relationship with them anew, just as they are with you, so it's up to you to set the tone for them. Accept the fact that there may be misunderstandings between you. Indeed, relationships at a distance are something new both for you and for them, so from time to time you may misunderstand each other. The same goes for the relationship between brothers and sisters. Remember that younger people may need you more than before when you lived at home and were always at hand.

Kotanya (daughter, 2 year, St. Petersburg State University, Department of Applied Mathematics and Control Processes)

- At the exam, my daughter scored about 290 points - Russian 100, mathematics and computer science more than 90, and applied to the Faculty of Information Technology at NSU. And then I left with my girlfriend in St. Petersburg, just like that, to see a city where I had never been before. Already from St. Petersburg she said that she had submitted documents to three universities, and if she did, she would go there to study. She reasoned that if there is an opportunity to enter a good university outside the province, then you should not miss a chance.

It is much easier to let your child go to another city if you have relatives, friends, acquaintances who your child will be able to ask for help if necessary. So remember the phones of your second cousins ​​and look for the addresses of your student friends - any connections (even if the child does not use them) will now be welcome!

TEAMA (son, 1 year of Moscow State University, Faculty of Biology)

- FEN NSU is very strong. But in Moscow, the university, of course, is stronger and more prestigious. I went because I had such a chance - he was the winner of the All-Russian Olympiad, and could choose any university in the country out of competition. Он действительно сильный биолог, и ему имеет смысл максимально усложнить задачу, чтоб мозг использовать, наконец, в Москве есть родные, и именно этот факультет окончили мои дедушка и бабушка перед войной.

burya (дочка окончила исторический факультет МГУ в 2014 году)

- Дочка хотела поступать в университет в Петербурге, но там недостаточно было результатов ЕГЭ – необходимо было ехать и сдавать вступительные экзамены. Шансы у нас были неплохие, но… был МГУ, куда достаточно было просто отправить документы, к тому же в Москве у нас много родственников. Так что поуговаривали ребенка и отправили документы в Москву. She did not participate in any Olympiads (this was our omission, in 2009 we didn’t even know that in addition to the All-Russian Olympiad for schoolchildren there are many more competitions that provide benefits for admission), so they didn’t have much hope and submitted documents to NSU, where daughter immediately accepted. When she accidentally discovered her name in the “second wave” of those who entered the Moscow State University - at first they did not believe her eyes and were very confused! I had to hastily seize documents from the Novosibirsk selection committee, buy plane tickets — in short, fortunately, there was simply no time to think about something.

But, whatever your reasons may be, listen to the desires of the child, and he probably has them ...

Will the child learn without control?

Of course, at the 11th grader we do not check notebooks weekly, but there are school teachers who do just that. In a situation when you are seriously interested in your successes only after six months, many freshmen relax, especially if they were in a strong school, where they had already completed part of the university course ... But in vain! Try to set your child to work in good faith from day one, without delay “for later”. However, the first session usually puts its head in its place!

- It was a complete surprise for me when my son missed the exam (the reason was good - the disease), then he did not prepare for the retake and missed it, and did nothing to agree with the teacher about the dates of the new retake. So he stopped being a student at St. Petersburg State University. But here the disease was only an excuse, in the absence of motivation to continue studying in Petersburg (he did what he could, and was disappointed and did not pull, and realized that “not really him”).

- Of course, I’m afraid that he will “fly out”, and he wouldn’t need to be in the army because of frail health, that he would abandon his studies altogether, sit down, for example, on computer games. But! By his 18 years, at home I couldn’t particularly influence the situation - he could not study, play and disappear in the evenings here. So even, oddly enough, it’s easier - not in front of my eyes, I don’t worry about nothing. While he passed the session on five, everything seems to be fine.

- The first semester gave us an unpleasant surprise where we did not expect at all - physical education! Yes, yes, the skis were the first pair and the “owl” daughter was too lazy to get up in the morning, go to the stadium ... I had to teach her to cheat, to draw the attention of doctors to a chronic disease, which, in all conscience, did not interfere with skiing at all. Then I had to work out the missed classes .. Fortunately, they looked at unsportsmanlike freshmen at the history department if not through their fingers, then, in any case, quite condescendingly. And more such incidents have not been repeated.

How do I deal with this?

We will not hide, separation will be harder for you than your child. But think about what opportunities will open for him to study at a metropolitan university! He will see how much interesting, how many friends he will make, how much he will travel (you can get to Europe from Moscow and St. Petersburg at least by bus!), And finally, how many useful acquaintances he will have for his future career!

- It was difficult for me (to gray hair, literally). Almost before the announcement of the USE results, the son did not advertise his readiness to enter the university, his classmates who were about to leave discussed more, I did not seriously think about such an opportunity, I was not mentally ready. I did not expect that at the university, my son would put the main emphasis on studying, and not on violent social activities, as this has been and is still happening.

- I miss you, yes! And we all miss you. My daughter did not go in a similar situation at one time - and she does not regret, she liked NSU, and there were less worries, living at home, and her social circle remained. But the boy’s career is probably more important. In both cases, we agreed with the decision of the children themselves.

- SPbU faculties are not located in one place, this is the center, Vasilievsky Island, and Peterhof, where the daughter lives. He travels to the city as needed. Students in St. Petersburg have the opportunity to visit the Hermitage, the Russian Museum for free at a minimal cost, and other museums too.

I don’t know if Anna hadn’t left for St. Petersburg, if I had visited there at all or not, otherwise I’ve been there four times in the past year and a half!

And what? What is not a plus of student life in the capital?

6. Join the study.

Find a quiet place to work, make a schedule so that you can keep up with your studies and keep up with your friends. If problems start with classes, consult with teachers. Do not forget that every university has a psychologist who will help you deal with the new emotions that every visiting student faces. Do not be shy, because these people are there to help you.

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